23
Sep
2016
2

The Banker Men (Lyrics)

“The Banker Men” Lyrics
heavily borrowed and distorted from Sammy Davis Jr.’s “Candy Man” song

shutterstock_18706519

(chorus in parentheses)

(Banker men)
(Hey, Banker men)

Alright everybody, gather ‘round
The Banker men are here
What kind of banking do you want?

Sweet banking?
Sour banking?
Long or short banking?

Anything you want…

You’ve come to the right men
‘cuz we are the Banker men

 

Who can take the fed rate, push it oh-so-low
Then wonder why the rate of GDP growth is so slow?
The Central Bank can, any Central Bank can
Who makes monetary easing, oh-so-very pleasing
The Central Bank plan, the Central Bank plan

Who can take a yield curve, sprinkle it askew
Shower it with rate cuts and a miracle or two
Kuroda-san can, Kuroda-san can
‘cuz he floods us all in yen, then he floods us all again
The Kuroda-san con, the Kuroda-san con

 

(The Central Banker makes everything he monetizes satisfying and delicious
Now you talk about your retirement wishes, better hope for loaves and fishes…)

(Yeah, Yeah, Yeah)

 

Who takes the interbank rate, smashes it to rubble
To fertilize and monetize a bloated asset bubble?
The Bernanke man can, the Bernanke man can
He waves his magic wand and he floods the world with bonds
It’s the Bernanke man scam, the Bernanke man scam

Who can take the Euro, prop it up just so
Relax a bit, and then the bloody Brits decide to go
The Draghi man can, the Draghi man can
His yield curve is inverted, and policies perverted
It’s the Draghi man flam, the Draghi man flam

 

(The Central Banker makes everything he monetizes satisfying and delicious
Now you talk about your retirement wishes, better hope for loaves and fishes…)

(Yeah, Yeah, Yeah)

 

Who can take deposits, give interest close to naught
Keep the party going, and just hope that she’s not caught?
The Yellen-melon can, oh the Yellen-melon can
Doesn’t matter what we save, our pensions still get shaved
It’s the Yellen-melon slam, the Yellen-melon slam

If revenue’s a dollar, who can borrow three?
Then pass the bill to you, your kids and all your family.
Your Congressman can, your Congressman can
No point in getting angered, his district’s gerrymandered
It’s the Congressman sham, the Congressman sham

 

(The Central Banker makes everything he monetizes satisfying and delicious
Now you talk about your retirement wishes, better hope for loaves and fishes…)

(Yeah, Yeah, Yeah)

 

Give us a safe haven, please who can it be?
Forget our indiscretions and protect us while we flee
The Swiss Franc man can; the Swiss Franc man can
Zurich has its faults, but there’s gold in them thar’ vaults
It’s the Alpine-man band, the Alpine-man band

By punning on an old song, I‘ve bored you all to tears
But still, this took more effort than the Fed has made for years
‘cuz Alan Greenspan, Alan Greenspan
From boom to bust to boom, he’s the smartest man in the room?
It’s the Greenspan-man scam, the Greenspan-scam

 

(The Central Banker makes everything he monetizes satisfying and delicious
Now you talk about your retirement wishes, better hope for loaves and fishes…)

(Yeah, Yeah, Yeah)

 

(a-Central Banker can, a-Central Banker can, a-Central Banker can)
(a-Central Banker can, a-Central Banker can, a-Central Banker can)

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